This last weekend I made an excursion outside of Kansas City for the first time since right before Christmas. I was able to spend time with a good friend talking about real life and other things that are not so important; in addition, we enjoyed breakfast at our favorite smoke-filled mom & pop eatery...without the smoke. I was also able to hit up an old Bolivar, MO haunt (restaurant) with an old friend of sorts, and be with him as he continues to mend a broken heart. Also, I was supposed to call another friend and meet up with her in between; alas, it did not happen. Though she was allegedly not bothered by it, I still felt bad...on one hand. On the other, I felt important, as apparently there was not enough of myself to go around. That's not a feeling I often experience.
I did not return to my old home of Willard, MO until Saturday evening. By that point, I had slept so little and traveled so much that I was exhausted. It normally bothers me quite a bit that my family is ok with complaining about what's on TV and the proceeding to watch it without any kind of real interaction with each other. However, on that particular evening it was just what I needed. My stay there yet again turned out to be less than 24 hours. Nevertheless, I left with a sense of gratefulness for knowing what I have waiting for me, as well as what I'm free to leave behind. Try and figure that one out, Trebek.
Most importantly, this last weekend was a milestone of sorts as I reunited with my half-brother Tom, whom I haven't seen in 10 years or spoken to in 7 years. I wasn't terribly worried about it, save the anticipation of slight awkwardness. I arrived expecting to hit up a nearby restaurant and be on my way. Instead, Tom and his wife Jessica greeted me with smiles and barbecue burgers, introducing me as "Uncle Tim" to my niece (Sophie, age 3) and nephew (Jack, 7 months). My stay went on longer than expected as we maintained a natural, relaxed conversation, and as I held Jack and played with Sophie. I guess it's true: you never know how much fun it is to be an uncle/aunt until you are one. This was only the 1st time, mind you.
It was a successful, yet tiring weekend, topped off with a visit to a dairy farm in Harrisonville for milk straight from the cow. After several weeks of sleeping difficulties preceding that, there are few things sweeter than falling asleep and actually feeling like a grown-up. Well...almost.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Reviving Flood
While my search for inspiration continues, I thought I would explain the meaning behind my username. When one sees "revivingflood", they likely think a) that it's something cheesy and spiritual, or b) that it's a double entendre of sorts (floods do the opposite of reviving...they drown and kill people). If you fit into one of those categories of people, then please know that it's only a half-truth. However, those two half-truths could be seen as combining to form the bigger picture. In that case...good for you. Go stuff yourself with chocolate chip cookies, why don't ya?
August 20, 2007 is a day that I will never forget...I hope I never forget that day, at least. To forget what happened that day would be, in my case, to forget what the Lord has brought me from, where He's taken me since then, and the many undeserved gifts & blessings He's chosen to bestow upon me; particularly, the gift of life.
The summer of 2007 was an interesting one for me. I was fresh out of college, having earned two Bachelor's degrees with honors (technically). I moved back in with my parents (depression & isolation waiting to happen) to begin my quest to pay back my debt...educational and otherwise. However, in spite of my qualifications and success, I found myself working overnights as a convenience store clerk in the Springfield ghetto...Meth Country, basically; this paid barely enough to finance my search for a real job during the day, like the jobs filled by people like me with education. Needless to say, I was having a very hard time with things before "it" went down.
On the morning of the 20th, I came home from work to eat breakfast and dress up so I could apply for substitute teaching in the boonies. It had literally been raining non-stop all night, but because the Ozarks is known for bizarre weather patterns, and because working overnights had eaten my soul by that point, I thought nothing of it. Had I actually turned on a radio or TV, I would've been thinking differently.
While driving outside of Walnut Grove, MO, it began raining so hard that it was impossible to see anything clearly. With that being said, I inadvertently drove right into 2 feet of water (and counting) on a flooded bridge. My car died instantly, and as the current grew stronger, my car was swept off the road. In my failed attempt to make it across the bridge, I grabbed onto a sign, which eventually gave way, pushing me upstream.
The fact that I made it out alive is clearly a miracle. At that point, it was irrelevant, as I was broke, without a vehicle, isolated from meaningful relationships, and going nowhere in life. It didn't help that my boss still made me go to work that night, either.
My point is that on August 20, 2007, I was literally forced to abandon my hopes and plans for the future...or at least my perception of God's plans for me. Apparently God & I have some communication issues...hmm.
I've written more than enough, as those who know me already know the rest of the story for the most part. I still find myself wanting a lot of things that God's not allowing me to have. I still find myself asking God a lot of "Why?" and "When?" questions. Nevertheless, today I am closer to my Creator than ever, and continuing to grow closer to Him. I am nowhere close to having my debt paid off, but He is providing me with the finances I need (though I'm still making less than even most teachers). I am even enjoying living in community with several other like-minded individuals, and am blessed to remain friends with even a few who are not-so-near.
As we continue reading up on each other and searching for blog-worth inspiration, remember the following: a life lived outside of God's plans is not worth living; if you find yourself questioning God's plans for your life, do not forget that He is a mighty, sovereign God. As you ask Him to reveal Himself, be prepared for a God-sized response. He can move the mountains...even moreso, your vehicle.
-TS
August 20, 2007 is a day that I will never forget...I hope I never forget that day, at least. To forget what happened that day would be, in my case, to forget what the Lord has brought me from, where He's taken me since then, and the many undeserved gifts & blessings He's chosen to bestow upon me; particularly, the gift of life.
The summer of 2007 was an interesting one for me. I was fresh out of college, having earned two Bachelor's degrees with honors (technically). I moved back in with my parents (depression & isolation waiting to happen) to begin my quest to pay back my debt...educational and otherwise. However, in spite of my qualifications and success, I found myself working overnights as a convenience store clerk in the Springfield ghetto...Meth Country, basically; this paid barely enough to finance my search for a real job during the day, like the jobs filled by people like me with education. Needless to say, I was having a very hard time with things before "it" went down.
On the morning of the 20th, I came home from work to eat breakfast and dress up so I could apply for substitute teaching in the boonies. It had literally been raining non-stop all night, but because the Ozarks is known for bizarre weather patterns, and because working overnights had eaten my soul by that point, I thought nothing of it. Had I actually turned on a radio or TV, I would've been thinking differently.
While driving outside of Walnut Grove, MO, it began raining so hard that it was impossible to see anything clearly. With that being said, I inadvertently drove right into 2 feet of water (and counting) on a flooded bridge. My car died instantly, and as the current grew stronger, my car was swept off the road. In my failed attempt to make it across the bridge, I grabbed onto a sign, which eventually gave way, pushing me upstream.
The fact that I made it out alive is clearly a miracle. At that point, it was irrelevant, as I was broke, without a vehicle, isolated from meaningful relationships, and going nowhere in life. It didn't help that my boss still made me go to work that night, either.
My point is that on August 20, 2007, I was literally forced to abandon my hopes and plans for the future...or at least my perception of God's plans for me. Apparently God & I have some communication issues...hmm.
I've written more than enough, as those who know me already know the rest of the story for the most part. I still find myself wanting a lot of things that God's not allowing me to have. I still find myself asking God a lot of "Why?" and "When?" questions. Nevertheless, today I am closer to my Creator than ever, and continuing to grow closer to Him. I am nowhere close to having my debt paid off, but He is providing me with the finances I need (though I'm still making less than even most teachers). I am even enjoying living in community with several other like-minded individuals, and am blessed to remain friends with even a few who are not-so-near.
As we continue reading up on each other and searching for blog-worth inspiration, remember the following: a life lived outside of God's plans is not worth living; if you find yourself questioning God's plans for your life, do not forget that He is a mighty, sovereign God. As you ask Him to reveal Himself, be prepared for a God-sized response. He can move the mountains...even moreso, your vehicle.
-TS
Monday, June 9, 2008
Starting Over?
It's been a long time since I've been able to write a serious blog of any sort, and today is no exception. However, today I was greatly encouraged to learn that some of my former Xanga buddies are making a return to the Blogosphere. In addition to expressing my own self through writing, I love to read the words of others, especially those I have the pleasure of knowing personally.
I also just realized that I'm only stating the obvious...or moreso, the redundant. Nevertheless, consider this my public statement of my intention to begin writing regularly again. My creative side and I have been apart for quite some time, and my soul longs to be reunited with this, its other half.
P.S. To clear up confusion (Cary & Joel), I actually re-titled my blog so that it now reads "A Life-Related Blog". I'm not far into my new job, but something tells me that health insurance is not very blog-worthy.
I also just realized that I'm only stating the obvious...or moreso, the redundant. Nevertheless, consider this my public statement of my intention to begin writing regularly again. My creative side and I have been apart for quite some time, and my soul longs to be reunited with this, its other half.
P.S. To clear up confusion (Cary & Joel), I actually re-titled my blog so that it now reads "A Life-Related Blog". I'm not far into my new job, but something tells me that health insurance is not very blog-worthy.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Career Change?
This morning I accepted a job offer which includes significantly better pay, less of a commute, normal daytime hours, and of course, MUCH less stress than my current position. The funny thing is, I'm not even using either of my degrees (though I'd assume holding a bachelor's degree plays some role in determining my starting pay). I will be starting as a customer service rep. for a third-party administrator. Not exactly what I saw myself doing out of college, but I'll take it. The last several months I've felt strongly led career-wise into the direction of the business world. My goals right now are to pursue an M.B.A. and claw my way into human resources somewhere. The best part is that the EPOCH Group (where I'll be working) is a subsidiary of BlueCross BlueShield of Kansas City, meaning I will have plenty of opportunity for advancement; at PFH, however, it did not take me long to see I was led right into a dead end. But, case management has served its purpose for me, and I truly do feel I've gained something from this position.
I will spare you all the sappy details. However, the purpose of this "work-related" blog has been defeated, as I will be drastically changing jobs. I suppose I'll have to do some tweaking.
P.S. Last week I interviewed for a similar case management position, where I had the opportunity to explain my company's unethical billing practices and lack of overall structure. Following the interview, one of the interviewers approached me to say that PFH hasn't changed a bit since 10 years ago when she worked for them. Ouch.
I will spare you all the sappy details. However, the purpose of this "work-related" blog has been defeated, as I will be drastically changing jobs. I suppose I'll have to do some tweaking.
P.S. Last week I interviewed for a similar case management position, where I had the opportunity to explain my company's unethical billing practices and lack of overall structure. Following the interview, one of the interviewers approached me to say that PFH hasn't changed a bit since 10 years ago when she worked for them. Ouch.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Awkward Co-Workers
I'm obviously back from Florida, and it's been a rough week as far as re-adjusting to my responsibilities here. However, I think I'm doing much better now than I was at the beginning of the week. Now that the week is almost at a close, here's a snipet of a conversation I just had with our OCD/passive-aggressive receptionist:
Her: Tim, I'm leaving for the day. I've already talked to Cris (our boss) and she's aware of it.
Me: Ok...are you not feeling well or something?
Her: No, I'm not, really.
Me: Oh...is it a cold or something?
Her: No, it's my time of the month and it's killing me! Hey - you asked, right?
Me: Hmmm....
Ok, I know it's a natural, biological thing. But wow...what do you do with that? I also have to say that menstruation and mood disorders can't be a good combination. At all.
Her: Tim, I'm leaving for the day. I've already talked to Cris (our boss) and she's aware of it.
Me: Ok...are you not feeling well or something?
Her: No, I'm not, really.
Me: Oh...is it a cold or something?
Her: No, it's my time of the month and it's killing me! Hey - you asked, right?
Me: Hmmm....
Ok, I know it's a natural, biological thing. But wow...what do you do with that? I also have to say that menstruation and mood disorders can't be a good combination. At all.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Burnout
Has anything ever given you that "uggghhh" feeling on contact? If so, then you know as well as I do that it's the feeling of burnout. I'm definitely feeling it too - enough that I've almost stopped caring about the 30 hour/week quota I'm required to meet. You know you're burnt out on your job when you're ok with not meeting the biggest requirement for keeping your job.
It's fitting that the header on my blog says "The Other Side...Of What?", because for now I know "what" - Friday. But it's not just the start of any weekend to rest up for the next week. This Friday marks the start of my week of paid vacation! While the rest of our short-handed staff is slaving away, I'll be experiencing a different kind of burnout: the kind that involves the sun, my white skin getting less white, and of course, hot white sandy beaches!
Of course after that's all over, I'll be back to the daily grind...unpaid overtime, pee tests, driving a big ugly blue van around the KC suburbs, bureaucracy, you name it. But all I know is that next week I won't have to worry about that. And, without next week, the week after next would suck even worse.
It's fitting that the header on my blog says "The Other Side...Of What?", because for now I know "what" - Friday. But it's not just the start of any weekend to rest up for the next week. This Friday marks the start of my week of paid vacation! While the rest of our short-handed staff is slaving away, I'll be experiencing a different kind of burnout: the kind that involves the sun, my white skin getting less white, and of course, hot white sandy beaches!
Of course after that's all over, I'll be back to the daily grind...unpaid overtime, pee tests, driving a big ugly blue van around the KC suburbs, bureaucracy, you name it. But all I know is that next week I won't have to worry about that. And, without next week, the week after next would suck even worse.
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