I was going for something more profound, but then again, I think some of the best writing is just honest writing - the pure, unadulterated kind of honesty.
So here it is: I am very very grateful to be home tonight. I usually am grateful to be here, though, so I'm not sure why tonight is any more different.
Like most of the U.S. I was surprised to wake up to a bitter 8°F wind chill and snow on the ground this morning. So, I forewent my morning shower in favor of getting a head start on my lovely morning commute. As luck would have it, I spent more time at one stop light than I do on my normal commute, and even in my best effort I was still late. My new boss is very flexible with things like that, which is great; however, it was more of a personal blow as I'm striving to gain in the punctuality I generally lack. To boot, I wound up diving in head first to the new product I just completed training on. There's nothing that boosts your self-esteem like mistakes, misunderstandings, and all-around wasted time, right? In the midst of all this, my ring finger began bleeding profusely through my bandage from where I had a very persistent thick wart burned off yesterday. While my wedding band will now be able to fit, there is still a gaping amount of missing flesh that I'm concerned will not grow back within the next 25 days - that is, when I will be spending the day making love to my wedding photographer's camera and spending the night making love to my new wife. Yeah, I went there. So, maybe that's why?
Or could it be that I'm getting married in 25 days and this is one of my last opportunities to "bach it"? Or that it's still feels like 8°F outside?
At any rate, it wasn't a great day. Still, it's not like anything happened big enough to completely shake up my world. In fact, I'm pretty much over this day.
So why does this "night off" feel so much better than any other "night off" I've had? I'm still not sure, but this comes to mind:
“Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold." - Psalm 46:10-11
Maybe the point isn't to figure myself out tonight. What if I'm supposed to just see God in this, the small stuff? To trust that He will receive glory from my life whether I do right or wrong? That He will grant me favor with my employer when I mess up at work? With my fiancée when I don't live up to the wedding vows we're attempting to write ourselves? With my body as I wait for the missing flesh to be made whole where my wedding band will be taking its place? To simply enjoy Him and what He's given me (while it lasts)?
Tonight, it's Him & I, and I guess that's the plan.