Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun; Secrets, Secrets Hurt Someone

A few weeks ago I decided to mention an unspoken prayer request to some friends of mine; however, my stupid, blabber-mouth self decided that if I at least gave minimal details, the others could at least pray more specifically without knowing too much information. I decided to mention the bare necessities of the situation, as it involved another mutual friend and my confidence level was not looking so hot. Of course, while I didn't mention names or subject matter, what I didn't count on is that any of these people would remember what I had said to them.

A couple weeks after that, I was gathered with said people, as well as Said Person. One of the said people decided to take it upon himself to ask me for an update on what I had mentioned in front of everyone, including Said Person. Though Said Person's attention seemed to be diverted at the time...still...talk about awkward!

Just the other night, some of us guys were shooting the breeze when one of them said, "Hey, I know I'm changing the subject, but I was gonna ask..." with a humongous grin on his face. You know that grin...it's the one you get when somebody asks you about a member of the opposite sex. However, I quickly silenced him and politely stated that this was off-limits and not open to discussion.

At that point, I would've been fine. Nevertheless, it is me we're talking about.

Prior to the questions being brought up, we were talking about how certain situations amongst our mutual friends are bound to create some form of drama - mild or otherwise. Like I said, I would've been fine...had I kept my mouth shut. Instead, some synapse in my brain misfired, convincing me it was necessary to mention that if it were in reference to a girl, then the very thing we were discussing would be the reason I would not want to mention any details.

Then, my friend's facial expression went beyond the goofy grin. His eyes began to widen & gleam. You know that look...the one that says "Say no more...I know exactly who you're talking about...and it is JUICY indeed!"

It was unmistakable.

The moral of this story: if you're going to keep a secret, keep the secret a secret, and so on. No one is as dumb as they may seem, especially when it comes to other people & social situations. Give them a little, and they will take a lot.

To my long-distance friends: I appreciate everything about our friendship, including the distance, except for the part about not talking or hanging out very often. Secrets are much easier to keep in close proximity when they are leaked out at a distance.

I wish I was better at keeping secrets.

Je-rry! Je-rry! Je-rry!

I'm toying with the idea of purchasing a mobile home at some point within the next few months.

That is all.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Empty

Once again I have kept all few of you waiting, and yet have nothing to bring to the table once again.

I often tell people that the cleanliness of my work and/or living space is a pretty accurate picture of the order of my life. Right now, my desk is cluttered with useless crap and the front of my tiny apartment is in disarray from a week ago Sunday. However, I can now see my bedroom floor. This is an improvement, if nothing else.

My level of security & self-esteem can be described as waning and inconsistent at best. In laymens' terms, I feel bogged down by sin and most of the time lonely, even though there are several people in my life who "claim" me and a God who promises to fill any voids. Usually I'd go spend money on myself when I feel like this, but that's not something I have much of. Although I purchased a Boss TU-2 chromatic guitar pedal tuner for a good price, it's hard to allow myself not to feel guilty about it.

You'd think in these times that I'd devote more time to working on music, reading, cleaning, or practicing spiritual disciplines. I search endlessly for inspiration, yet I remain lacking.

As always, if I chose to get to the heart of the issue, I'd discover it's probably my own damn fault.