Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Modesty

I feel that part of my hesitation for writing full-out blog posts is due to feeling a need to impress you. The other day I was meditating on this and came to a very profound conclusion: it's not going to happen...at least, not today. There have been no recent events significant enough to measure up to these expectations which I set for myself. (Actually, that's not true at all. However, I don't feel I have any significant events that are appropriate to write about.)

With that being said, I give you...the mundane. Currently I am sitting in my very own private cubicle. Things are mostly silent, it seems. This is good. While I don't feel my job truly fits under the category of "stressful", I have been experiencing a natural stress over learning the ropes of my position and talking with providers' offices, pretending like I have experience working with health insurance. This has been one of the most calming moments I've experienced in the last 2 weeks I've been "on my own". No calls are coming in. No matters need to be followed up on. No faxes need to be forwarded on. Nobody needs me to send them a copy of everything. There is no work to be done. This is great.

For our callers who don't like to remain on hold, they have the option of being transferred to a general voicemail for the entire queue. The responsibility to check these voicemails has fallen on another one of our reps, who just left for vacation. In an attempt to make myself look good to my supervisors, I volunteered to help keep up with these voicemails. Fortunately, there have been no messages for me to return. :-)

However, I did receive the call from hell today. A New Yawker (Yorker) from a dentist's office started throwing out all these procedure codes (which I advised to her I could not look up) and terminology even my supervisors have never heard of before. I was probably on the phone with her for upwards of 30 minutes. When I finished with the call, I literally threw my headset against the wall of my cubicle. My boss laughed. But hey...perhaps my job would be obsolete if other people did their jobs, eh? Who am I to complain? If this is the worst story I have so far, then I certainly have no desire to do so.

In other news, I will be meeting a Mr. J. (and I think a Mrs. J?) in Lee's Summit for dinner next week. He's a decent enough fellow that I'm even willing to meet him in Lee's Summit. Grrr, I hate that stupid town! I'm so glad I don't live or work there anymore. Kansas rules!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Scheduled Outage

I was going to write a new blog post. But, I just noticed that there's a scheduled outage at 4:00 P.M. PDT...that's 6:00 here. It's 6:00 now. Whoops.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

We Are Family....Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

This last weekend I made an excursion outside of Kansas City for the first time since right before Christmas. I was able to spend time with a good friend talking about real life and other things that are not so important; in addition, we enjoyed breakfast at our favorite smoke-filled mom & pop eatery...without the smoke. I was also able to hit up an old Bolivar, MO haunt (restaurant) with an old friend of sorts, and be with him as he continues to mend a broken heart. Also, I was supposed to call another friend and meet up with her in between; alas, it did not happen. Though she was allegedly not bothered by it, I still felt bad...on one hand. On the other, I felt important, as apparently there was not enough of myself to go around. That's not a feeling I often experience.

I did not return to my old home of Willard, MO until Saturday evening. By that point, I had slept so little and traveled so much that I was exhausted. It normally bothers me quite a bit that my family is ok with complaining about what's on TV and the proceeding to watch it without any kind of real interaction with each other. However, on that particular evening it was just what I needed. My stay there yet again turned out to be less than 24 hours. Nevertheless, I left with a sense of gratefulness for knowing what I have waiting for me, as well as what I'm free to leave behind. Try and figure that one out, Trebek.

Most importantly, this last weekend was a milestone of sorts as I reunited with my half-brother Tom, whom I haven't seen in 10 years or spoken to in 7 years. I wasn't terribly worried about it, save the anticipation of slight awkwardness. I arrived expecting to hit up a nearby restaurant and be on my way. Instead, Tom and his wife Jessica greeted me with smiles and barbecue burgers, introducing me as "Uncle Tim" to my niece (Sophie, age 3) and nephew (Jack, 7 months). My stay went on longer than expected as we maintained a natural, relaxed conversation, and as I held Jack and played with Sophie. I guess it's true: you never know how much fun it is to be an uncle/aunt until you are one. This was only the 1st time, mind you.

It was a successful, yet tiring weekend, topped off with a visit to a dairy farm in Harrisonville for milk straight from the cow. After several weeks of sleeping difficulties preceding that, there are few things sweeter than falling asleep and actually feeling like a grown-up. Well...almost.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Reviving Flood

While my search for inspiration continues, I thought I would explain the meaning behind my username. When one sees "revivingflood", they likely think a) that it's something cheesy and spiritual, or b) that it's a double entendre of sorts (floods do the opposite of reviving...they drown and kill people). If you fit into one of those categories of people, then please know that it's only a half-truth. However, those two half-truths could be seen as combining to form the bigger picture. In that case...good for you. Go stuff yourself with chocolate chip cookies, why don't ya?

August 20, 2007 is a day that I will never forget...I hope I never forget that day, at least. To forget what happened that day would be, in my case, to forget what the Lord has brought me from, where He's taken me since then, and the many undeserved gifts & blessings He's chosen to bestow upon me; particularly, the gift of life.

The summer of 2007 was an interesting one for me. I was fresh out of college, having earned two Bachelor's degrees with honors (technically). I moved back in with my parents (depression & isolation waiting to happen) to begin my quest to pay back my debt...educational and otherwise. However, in spite of my qualifications and success, I found myself working overnights as a convenience store clerk in the Springfield ghetto...Meth Country, basically; this paid barely enough to finance my search for a real job during the day, like the jobs filled by people like me with education. Needless to say, I was having a very hard time with things before "it" went down.

On the morning of the 20th, I came home from work to eat breakfast and dress up so I could apply for substitute teaching in the boonies. It had literally been raining non-stop all night, but because the Ozarks is known for bizarre weather patterns, and because working overnights had eaten my soul by that point, I thought nothing of it. Had I actually turned on a radio or TV, I would've been thinking differently.

While driving outside of Walnut Grove, MO, it began raining so hard that it was impossible to see anything clearly. With that being said, I inadvertently drove right into 2 feet of water (and counting) on a flooded bridge. My car died instantly, and as the current grew stronger, my car was swept off the road. In my failed attempt to make it across the bridge, I grabbed onto a sign, which eventually gave way, pushing me upstream.

The fact that I made it out alive is clearly a miracle. At that point, it was irrelevant, as I was broke, without a vehicle, isolated from meaningful relationships, and going nowhere in life. It didn't help that my boss still made me go to work that night, either.

My point is that on August 20, 2007, I was literally forced to abandon my hopes and plans for the future...or at least my perception of God's plans for me. Apparently God & I have some communication issues...hmm.

I've written more than enough, as those who know me already know the rest of the story for the most part. I still find myself wanting a lot of things that God's not allowing me to have. I still find myself asking God a lot of "Why?" and "When?" questions. Nevertheless, today I am closer to my Creator than ever, and continuing to grow closer to Him. I am nowhere close to having my debt paid off, but He is providing me with the finances I need (though I'm still making less than even most teachers). I am even enjoying living in community with several other like-minded individuals, and am blessed to remain friends with even a few who are not-so-near.

As we continue reading up on each other and searching for blog-worth inspiration, remember the following: a life lived outside of God's plans is not worth living; if you find yourself questioning God's plans for your life, do not forget that He is a mighty, sovereign God. As you ask Him to reveal Himself, be prepared for a God-sized response. He can move the mountains...even moreso, your vehicle.

-TS

Monday, June 9, 2008

Starting Over?

It's been a long time since I've been able to write a serious blog of any sort, and today is no exception. However, today I was greatly encouraged to learn that some of my former Xanga buddies are making a return to the Blogosphere. In addition to expressing my own self through writing, I love to read the words of others, especially those I have the pleasure of knowing personally.

I also just realized that I'm only stating the obvious...or moreso, the redundant. Nevertheless, consider this my public statement of my intention to begin writing regularly again. My creative side and I have been apart for quite some time, and my soul longs to be reunited with this, its other half.

P.S. To clear up confusion (Cary & Joel), I actually re-titled my blog so that it now reads "A Life-Related Blog". I'm not far into my new job, but something tells me that health insurance is not very blog-worthy.