Wednesday, January 20, 2016

I'm Not Who I Was

Dear World,

It has been almost two years since I have written a blog post. You may have missed a lot, but if so, you also haven't missed much. My wife & I still have our same jobs. We became homeowners just over a year ago; however, we moved across the state line to be closer to her job (a mile away, to be exact), closer to her side of the family, and to get more house for our money - literally, our new home is twice the size of the home we rented in KS, yet similar in market value. My commute is now 40-45 minutes on average. My gut has gained about 40 pounds since my last post. Most days we try to eat healthy and exercise. And other boring stuff that either I'm forgetting and/or is just not worth the effort to type.

I know I have things to say, but only because so does everyone else. I generally struggle to find my voice these days, let alone inspiration. With that being said, however, I want to assure you that I'm just as (if not more) complicated as ever, and I continue to learn frightening things about myself.

I'm here because, in my haphazard praying and soul-searching, I think the Lord is impressing upon me to begin sharing my story publicly. All of it. Things that may make you uncomfortable, and that undoubtedly make me uncomfortable to share. This blog is entitled "Fake It Until You Make It" - a common saying, but one I didn't pick up until my last semester of college from a psychology/counseling professor (also a psychiatrist). However, I'm not sure that's appropriate any longer, as there are days that neither "faking it" or "making it" are possible, if I'm being honest.

I'm clueless as to what I'm going to say or how this is going to look. The only thing I can attest to, based on scripture and real life, is that Jesus Christ is most revealed when we are destitute. If, in going through with this, the Holy Spirit reaches even one person in any way whatsoever, it is worthwhile, even if I don't see fruit on this side of eternity.

So, now that this is out there, hold me accountable.