Power Ballad Reflections

I must say (and not for the first...or last, time) that I am amazed by how much can change in a year's time. Case in point:

Yesterday evening, as I was relaxing in solitude, I was surprised to hear my neighbor's music as clear as if it were in my own home (or perhaps I shouldn't be surprised between the outdoor walkway and the thin walls in this apartment building) when all of a sudden Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" is cranked to 11. The song is so ridiculous and often used for comic relief in TV shows and movies that I couldn't help but chuckle...and that's when it hit me.

Transformation.

If I were in solitude like this a year ago, it would not have felt relaxing; it probably would have felt lonely as hell. I know this because I in fact was in solitude and lonely as hell. Back then, knowing how easily my emotions are swayed by certain chord progressions, I would have been in tears if that wretched song had begun playing in an ear shot of my living space. Not only this, but as a relationship-oriented individual I felt there was no way out and my future seemed bleak at that point. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I did not want to live the rest of my life like that.

Decision.

I was so sold on that decision that I was willing to actually put some work into it and follow through. It sure wasn't easy, but in the end I learned (or perhaps "accepted", though the jury's still out on that) that I am functionally an introvert. Though I don't want to be a recluse, I now know I can derive pleasure from these times of solitude...even with a dash of loneliness mixed in. With this also came the realization that...exactly; it was only a realization, not a true change in my personality.

Abandonment.

The stronghold of my greatest fear in life was greatly loosened when I chose to let go of what I thought I couldn't live without. Gradually my eyes were opened wider to the reality of who I am because I chose to walk away! I've found more freedom in that than I have in most things.

Isn't this true of all of us? I wonder if this is at least partially what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 8 when he told one of his disciples, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." Jesus is certainly about the business of transforming lives but he doesn't say "work for me"; he says "follow me". Who knows if this unnamed disciple answered that call but surely, for those who did, their eyes were opened to the majesty of God the Father as they deserted the mess in which they were each swept up. Perhaps His motive goes beyond "Do what I do and teach others to also" and more toward "Hey man, this smog is clouding you up; get out of the city for awhile". Perhaps this is also what King Solomon meant when he said, "There's nothing new under the sun; you have to get over the sun". Our senses are so enthralled with whatever tantalizes them that we become deceived in what we believe is real if we don't move away from it. Thankfully God has kept his promise in sending me someone to follow; otherwise I'd have no idea where I was going if I tried to go anywhere else, and I guarantee you I'd be lost as soon as I took my eyes off the road.

Do you desire transformation in your life? Jesus is the way, though whether you're convinced of that or not, I can guarantee you something (or someone) in your life is clouding your vision or, worse yet, flat-out blinding you. The solution is not to come up with a solution; the solution is to walk away. You need this just as much as me, and you'll be just as lost as me if you try and do this on your own.

Stop working. Start following.