This morning when I got into work I received a call on my cell phone from a 417 area code. I was intrigued, so I decided to stop what I was doing and take the call from my patient account rep at Citizens Memorial Hospital in Bolivar, MO, whom I spoke with the day before regarding my patient account balance (which will be paid off once I receive my severance check next week). The following is a paraphrase of our conversation:
Me: Hello, this is Tim.
CMH: Hello, this is Renee calling from Patient Accounting at Citizens Memorial. I was calling to let you know that we did get your account balance updated in our system, and we do show a remaining balance of $4,....
Me: Excuse me?! Are ya SURE about that?!
CMH: This is regarding 3 doctors' visits and a hospital visit from 2006.
Me: Right, and I've been making payments on that SINCE 2006! We spoke yesterday and you told me my account balance was under $900. My most recent billing statement does not reflect any $4,000 amount!
CMH: I'd be happy to send you a copy of the bill for those services to 7575 W....
Me: That is my correct address but that is not my correct balance! You must have something crossed in your system. My original bill was over $4,000 for an ER visit in August 2006 but I've been paying on that since 2006!
CMH: Wait a second...who is this?
Me: This is Tim Sowards. We spoke yesterday regarding my account balance.
CMH: Ohhhh yeahhh....hang on a second.
CMH: Ok, I think I put your contact info into the account for another Tim who had these services. I'm showing your balance as $818.66.
Me: Ok...that sounds more correct! I'm sorry if I came across as rude, but you really scared me!
And that, my friends, was today's heart attack. I never thought I could envoke such emotion! Other than that, God is good, and life is slowly getting better.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Please See Below...
This was the entry that I thought I had lost, but fortunately, I just discovered it autosaved near the end! Please give it a read and share your thoughts.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
02.17.09 - "Blow It Out Your Earrrrrrrrr"
So far 2009 is bringing about some changes in my life...some which I am not ok with. Lucky for you all, I'm not intending to write about myself this time, so we'll just have to save this for later.
This last year the media has continued to bombard us with ads reminding us of the DTV transition for analog to all-digital, second only to the 2008 election. Starting February 17, 2009, if you use an antenna to watch your favorite programs on local TV, you're going to be very disappointed because at midnight all full-power television stations in the U.S. will stop broadcasting in analog and switch to 100% digital broadcasting. However, we have options such as connecting to cable, satellite, or another pay-TV service, or purchasing a TV with a built-in digital tuner. Or, for my fellow white trash friends, the government offers the TV Converter Box Coupon Program which can save you $40 on a TV converter box, valued at $50-70.
My opinion: once was enough.
It irks me to see what we've become as a society and the rapid movement in that same direction (and my involvement in that), and I think the DTV transition is a great example. Once the transition is complete, some television channels will be turned over to fire and police departments for emergency communication and others are being auctioned to companies to provide new wireless services. You'd think if there wasn't enough room in the air for each of us to be constantly glued to our cell phones and wrapped up in ourselves, we'd rethink the value of the simpler things in life. Instead, our "me" attitude has once again led Congress to extremes such as mandating this transition.
Also, if you do choose to apply for the Coupon Program, you will see this message: "The TV Converter Box Coupon Program has reached its funding ceiling. However, coupon requests from eligible households will be filled as funds from expiring coupons become available. If you would like to apply for a coupon today and are eligible, you will be placed on a waiting list and will receive coupons on a first-come-first-served basis as funds from expiring coupons become available." Are we really so desperate that the government does not have enough available funding for everyone to use this program, and that over 100,000 people have been placed on this waiting list?
Don't mistake this as a "holier than thou" stance. I look forward to clearer pictures without having to pay for cable or satellite, and I very much support the increase in emergency communication & broadcast space. Heck, I may even purchase an antenna for my converter box. :-) But a much larger part of me has to look at this and say "What have we become?"
Now is your chance to share your opinions, insights, & research on the DTV 2009 transition. I want to know what each of you have to say on the subject, and hopefully we can generate some semi-decent discussion. Annnnndddd....go!
This last year the media has continued to bombard us with ads reminding us of the DTV transition for analog to all-digital, second only to the 2008 election. Starting February 17, 2009, if you use an antenna to watch your favorite programs on local TV, you're going to be very disappointed because at midnight all full-power television stations in the U.S. will stop broadcasting in analog and switch to 100% digital broadcasting. However, we have options such as connecting to cable, satellite, or another pay-TV service, or purchasing a TV with a built-in digital tuner. Or, for my fellow white trash friends, the government offers the TV Converter Box Coupon Program which can save you $40 on a TV converter box, valued at $50-70.
My opinion: once was enough.
It irks me to see what we've become as a society and the rapid movement in that same direction (and my involvement in that), and I think the DTV transition is a great example. Once the transition is complete, some television channels will be turned over to fire and police departments for emergency communication and others are being auctioned to companies to provide new wireless services. You'd think if there wasn't enough room in the air for each of us to be constantly glued to our cell phones and wrapped up in ourselves, we'd rethink the value of the simpler things in life. Instead, our "me" attitude has once again led Congress to extremes such as mandating this transition.
Also, if you do choose to apply for the Coupon Program, you will see this message: "The TV Converter Box Coupon Program has reached its funding ceiling. However, coupon requests from eligible households will be filled as funds from expiring coupons become available. If you would like to apply for a coupon today and are eligible, you will be placed on a waiting list and will receive coupons on a first-come-first-served basis as funds from expiring coupons become available." Are we really so desperate that the government does not have enough available funding for everyone to use this program, and that over 100,000 people have been placed on this waiting list?
Don't mistake this as a "holier than thou" stance. I look forward to clearer pictures without having to pay for cable or satellite, and I very much support the increase in emergency communication & broadcast space. Heck, I may even purchase an antenna for my converter box. :-) But a much larger part of me has to look at this and say "What have we become?"
Now is your chance to share your opinions, insights, & research on the DTV 2009 transition. I want to know what each of you have to say on the subject, and hopefully we can generate some semi-decent discussion. Annnnndddd....go!
Friday, December 26, 2008
One Month Later
Once again, I am dry on words. I wish I could muse you all with an anecdote, an epiphany, a humorous or spiritually enlightening story, or really just anything worth reading. Yet, once again, everything is exactly the same as it was a month ago when I last posted (and it's been a quick month, like most months tend to be when you get older). This is a bad habit, and I need to get back to the place where I was constantly evolving, changing, etc. Of course, saying it means absolutely nothing without action.
But, I will say this. This is the first year in many, many years that I've been able to tell people "Merry Christmas" and mean it. No, I am not against Christmas, and I am certainly not against Jesus (not intentionally, anyway), but the holidays have always been the darkest time of year for me. So, for me, this is huge. The Lord has ministered to me in a powerful way this season. I'll spare the details here.
And today is my last day of work for 11 days. Holla. Big Balla. Shot calla.
But, I will say this. This is the first year in many, many years that I've been able to tell people "Merry Christmas" and mean it. No, I am not against Christmas, and I am certainly not against Jesus (not intentionally, anyway), but the holidays have always been the darkest time of year for me. So, for me, this is huge. The Lord has ministered to me in a powerful way this season. I'll spare the details here.
And today is my last day of work for 11 days. Holla. Big Balla. Shot calla.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Why Am I A Musician?
Since I was young, I've wanted to be used by God in a mighty way, to have an impact on the world, and for the two to coincide. In my adolescence, I wasn't a very dynamic individual, and all I was good at was making social situations awkward and remembering the correct answers on tests for long enough before I forgot them. Then, piece-by-piece, I discovered that to some extent I was capable of doing all things musical. Perhaps it was at that point that I found my niche.
Only, there was (is) one small problem. It is very natural for me to use music as a means of expressing myself vulnerably. When I'm in front of people, I prefer to be perceived as strong, not weak like I am. I tell people about my love & passion for music and how for years it has taken up a sizeable chunk of my time, yet many of those people have never heard me sing, toot a horn, strum a guitar, pound on a piano, or burp my ABC's.
For years I have been hung up on this. Prior to my adolescence, I loved being in the spotlight. I would do anything in front of as many people as possible in order to win their attention, if not their love & affection. I've never quite figured out what had changed; all I've ever known is that something did change, and something inside of me caused it.
We were discussing missions at church a few days ago, and how it specifically pertains to one's individual personality and abilities. For many of us, our jobs would be our first guess as far as a platform for missions. As much as I love people, though, I am called to work as unto the Lord, and I work best with little social interaction. I am open to deep conversations with co-workers, however it often interferes with work duties when the opportunity comes up. The next place my mind went was music. How can I use music as a platform for everyday missions? And why aren't I doing that now?
And then it hit me like a bastard child on my doorstep.
I often associate being strong, competent, etc. with greatness, and I often make the mistake of associating greatness with being the best. Too often, I obsess over how people perceive me & my abilities compared to other's. I shy away from openness with my artistic abilities because I am not the best, and I know it. I perceive that others would spend their time comparing me to someone greater than immersing themselves in the moment. Chances are that you would disagree with that notion. Chances are that you're right to do so.
What is the point of greatness if it's not being used for the Kingdom? What does it say about me if I'm more concerned with making myself great than I am with making Him greater? With that being said, I am resolving to once again commit to writing more of my own music in order to meet my goal of recording an EP by the end of 2009 - and I expect to be held accountable to this. In addition, once I feel I've created enough decent music, I will search out opportunities to perform in front of people, many of whom will probably think I'm a terrible musician. Even now, I'm considering finding a street corner downtown in the near future and just playing music, whether it be my own, cover songs, or dare I say, praise & worship. I will leave my guitar case open and if money happens to find itself inside of there, I will use it to by a homeless and/or needy person a hot meal and dine with them. If that doesn't work out, I will put it toward my own debt, as I hear slavery to the lender makes Kingdom living difficult.
All that to say...I think I learned something new about myself recently. What have you been learning about yourself recently? Please comment below, as I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Happy 4th Thursday of November. Jesus is alive. As if that isn't enough, our overweight, greedy little bodies are blessed with far more than we deserve (death, that is).
Only, there was (is) one small problem. It is very natural for me to use music as a means of expressing myself vulnerably. When I'm in front of people, I prefer to be perceived as strong, not weak like I am. I tell people about my love & passion for music and how for years it has taken up a sizeable chunk of my time, yet many of those people have never heard me sing, toot a horn, strum a guitar, pound on a piano, or burp my ABC's.
For years I have been hung up on this. Prior to my adolescence, I loved being in the spotlight. I would do anything in front of as many people as possible in order to win their attention, if not their love & affection. I've never quite figured out what had changed; all I've ever known is that something did change, and something inside of me caused it.
We were discussing missions at church a few days ago, and how it specifically pertains to one's individual personality and abilities. For many of us, our jobs would be our first guess as far as a platform for missions. As much as I love people, though, I am called to work as unto the Lord, and I work best with little social interaction. I am open to deep conversations with co-workers, however it often interferes with work duties when the opportunity comes up. The next place my mind went was music. How can I use music as a platform for everyday missions? And why aren't I doing that now?
And then it hit me like a bastard child on my doorstep.
I often associate being strong, competent, etc. with greatness, and I often make the mistake of associating greatness with being the best. Too often, I obsess over how people perceive me & my abilities compared to other's. I shy away from openness with my artistic abilities because I am not the best, and I know it. I perceive that others would spend their time comparing me to someone greater than immersing themselves in the moment. Chances are that you would disagree with that notion. Chances are that you're right to do so.
What is the point of greatness if it's not being used for the Kingdom? What does it say about me if I'm more concerned with making myself great than I am with making Him greater? With that being said, I am resolving to once again commit to writing more of my own music in order to meet my goal of recording an EP by the end of 2009 - and I expect to be held accountable to this. In addition, once I feel I've created enough decent music, I will search out opportunities to perform in front of people, many of whom will probably think I'm a terrible musician. Even now, I'm considering finding a street corner downtown in the near future and just playing music, whether it be my own, cover songs, or dare I say, praise & worship. I will leave my guitar case open and if money happens to find itself inside of there, I will use it to by a homeless and/or needy person a hot meal and dine with them. If that doesn't work out, I will put it toward my own debt, as I hear slavery to the lender makes Kingdom living difficult.
All that to say...I think I learned something new about myself recently. What have you been learning about yourself recently? Please comment below, as I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Happy 4th Thursday of November. Jesus is alive. As if that isn't enough, our overweight, greedy little bodies are blessed with far more than we deserve (death, that is).
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hope
I currently find myself in a season of weight. No, I have not gained weight, though we can only hope that one day I will. I have a few different situations in my life that are less than favorable, but overall not too much to handle on their own. However, those who know me well enough know that the holidays for me are synonymous with some very negative emotions. Throw anything else into the mix, and you get the picture.
Recently my convictions are leading me to count my blessings and be thankful for even the basic necessities and conveniences I have (that half the world does not), versus giving into jealousy and covetry towards others who have the things I want deep down. Beyond that, the last couple days have been filled with good news:
1. At work, when we received the announcement that we were closing, we were told that by law we had to be given a 60-day notice - not so much for our termination date, but for when we would quit drawing a salary (severance, stay bonus, etc.) - and that the notice would begin with the sale closing. We have all been on the edge of our seat not knowing how much time we have left. However, it was clarified yesterday that our 60 days has not begun, and will not begin until we get an official written letter with a termination date. Ergo, I have a job for at least 2 more months...likely for longer, as we were told we'd probably not receive any notice until at least Janurary.
2. This means that my vacation benefits will still be in effect, and starting January 1 I get 17 paid days off for the year. When my job ends, I can only cash in up to 10 of those days, meaning I need to use some days...meaning, I will not need to cut my end-of-the-year vacation short (Nicholas).
3. Today I had an interview for a permanent position in one of our very small departments who will not be laid off at any point. It would be a lateral move, and the position would be almost identical to what I'm doing now (which isn't great, but certainly ok for the time being). Almost everyone in my department applied for the position, and I was encouraged to learn that I was 1 of 4 people chosen to be interviewed. I also scored 100% on the pre-employment test (the same test I took before I was hired here). The department manger recognized me from my Halloween costume and was glad that "someone with personality is interviewing for the position". It was a pretty formal interview, but it went very well (also an encouragement, as I suck at interviews). She was very friendly, easy-going, and had a sense of humor. Plus, I feel I was articulate in explaining my qualifications and philosophy in a work environment. I should know something by Thanksgiving.
All of this was work-related, but all of this is great news, considering CareerBuilder has virtually nothing to offer someone in my position. This world has little to offer, but thankfully this world is not my home.
Your turn to count your blessings - whether general or specific, I want to know what you're thankful for. What do you hope in?
Recently my convictions are leading me to count my blessings and be thankful for even the basic necessities and conveniences I have (that half the world does not), versus giving into jealousy and covetry towards others who have the things I want deep down. Beyond that, the last couple days have been filled with good news:
1. At work, when we received the announcement that we were closing, we were told that by law we had to be given a 60-day notice - not so much for our termination date, but for when we would quit drawing a salary (severance, stay bonus, etc.) - and that the notice would begin with the sale closing. We have all been on the edge of our seat not knowing how much time we have left. However, it was clarified yesterday that our 60 days has not begun, and will not begin until we get an official written letter with a termination date. Ergo, I have a job for at least 2 more months...likely for longer, as we were told we'd probably not receive any notice until at least Janurary.
2. This means that my vacation benefits will still be in effect, and starting January 1 I get 17 paid days off for the year. When my job ends, I can only cash in up to 10 of those days, meaning I need to use some days...meaning, I will not need to cut my end-of-the-year vacation short (Nicholas).
3. Today I had an interview for a permanent position in one of our very small departments who will not be laid off at any point. It would be a lateral move, and the position would be almost identical to what I'm doing now (which isn't great, but certainly ok for the time being). Almost everyone in my department applied for the position, and I was encouraged to learn that I was 1 of 4 people chosen to be interviewed. I also scored 100% on the pre-employment test (the same test I took before I was hired here). The department manger recognized me from my Halloween costume and was glad that "someone with personality is interviewing for the position". It was a pretty formal interview, but it went very well (also an encouragement, as I suck at interviews). She was very friendly, easy-going, and had a sense of humor. Plus, I feel I was articulate in explaining my qualifications and philosophy in a work environment. I should know something by Thanksgiving.
All of this was work-related, but all of this is great news, considering CareerBuilder has virtually nothing to offer someone in my position. This world has little to offer, but thankfully this world is not my home.
Your turn to count your blessings - whether general or specific, I want to know what you're thankful for. What do you hope in?
Friday, November 7, 2008
Insecure?
I stumbled across a sentence in a book which, paraphrased, states "Only secure people can serve God." (Try and take a guess at which Rick Warren book that is.) He goes on to state that those who, for example, have serious pride issues or who seek approval & validation from others are showing signs of insecurity and therefore cannot serve as Jesus served.
Wow.
We had a few minutes of good discussion on this recently in our small group. Here is what we (and myself) have concluded: as a blanket statement, that is not entirely true. It is evident in scripture that God does not limit His work to those who are most equipped & qualified; He often calls out those who are weak & unworthy of such a calling. However, to serve as Christ served in his time on Earth is to do so without approval, recognition, validation, or reward - often times with opposition or disapproval, that is, if someone even sees you. This can certainly be a problem for someone who lacks security in who they are (or for the Christian, in who God's Word says they are in Christ Jesus).
This can especially be a problem is you read too much into my last statement. There is no denying that we are a broken, fallen people, so of course there isn't a single one of us who doesn't have to battle insecurities in some way, shape, or form. Nevertheless, it is even more true today than yesterday that to follow Jesus we are to be radically different from the rest of the world - for example, what the liberal media has bombarded us with for the last 24 months, and what the majority of America voted for on Tuesday. We are to follow his example for the sake of emulating him, and ultimately (hopefully) offering others that saving relationship, and to do so without expectation of gain.
I'd like to hear others' thoughts on this subject. If someone put a gun to your head, would you say you are a secure or an insecure person as a whole? What insecurities do you most often experience and/or battle? To be a Christian (a true follower of Jesus), do you feel that requires total security, in who you are, or in Christ in you? If so, how well do you measure up? What agreements or disagreements do you have with anything I've written?
EDIT: It was pointed out that in the next to last paragraph there may have been a hint of a personal political statement. Since that was written 3 days ago, it's hard to pinpoint what my exact thought process was at the time. I feel my only intent was to use a current event as an example, which in this case it doesn't get much more current than the election. My comment was directed to us as a society, and how our me-first attitude (i.e. spending money we don't have for things we don't need) has influenced a majority of voters to swing left. Neverthless, it doesn't matter what I think or what I mean to say. My speech should not have a hint of bias, nor should it even suggest that religious & political views are always synonymous with each other. My blog is not intended to be a political platform, nor am I very politically-minded. So for that, I apologize. If my words are ever anything but God-honoring, please call me out, as I know most of you would ask the same of me.
Wow.
We had a few minutes of good discussion on this recently in our small group. Here is what we (and myself) have concluded: as a blanket statement, that is not entirely true. It is evident in scripture that God does not limit His work to those who are most equipped & qualified; He often calls out those who are weak & unworthy of such a calling. However, to serve as Christ served in his time on Earth is to do so without approval, recognition, validation, or reward - often times with opposition or disapproval, that is, if someone even sees you. This can certainly be a problem for someone who lacks security in who they are (or for the Christian, in who God's Word says they are in Christ Jesus).
This can especially be a problem is you read too much into my last statement. There is no denying that we are a broken, fallen people, so of course there isn't a single one of us who doesn't have to battle insecurities in some way, shape, or form. Nevertheless, it is even more true today than yesterday that to follow Jesus we are to be radically different from the rest of the world - for example, what the liberal media has bombarded us with for the last 24 months, and what the majority of America voted for on Tuesday. We are to follow his example for the sake of emulating him, and ultimately (hopefully) offering others that saving relationship, and to do so without expectation of gain.
I'd like to hear others' thoughts on this subject. If someone put a gun to your head, would you say you are a secure or an insecure person as a whole? What insecurities do you most often experience and/or battle? To be a Christian (a true follower of Jesus), do you feel that requires total security, in who you are, or in Christ in you? If so, how well do you measure up? What agreements or disagreements do you have with anything I've written?
EDIT: It was pointed out that in the next to last paragraph there may have been a hint of a personal political statement. Since that was written 3 days ago, it's hard to pinpoint what my exact thought process was at the time. I feel my only intent was to use a current event as an example, which in this case it doesn't get much more current than the election. My comment was directed to us as a society, and how our me-first attitude (i.e. spending money we don't have for things we don't need) has influenced a majority of voters to swing left. Neverthless, it doesn't matter what I think or what I mean to say. My speech should not have a hint of bias, nor should it even suggest that religious & political views are always synonymous with each other. My blog is not intended to be a political platform, nor am I very politically-minded. So for that, I apologize. If my words are ever anything but God-honoring, please call me out, as I know most of you would ask the same of me.
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